I want this to hurt, so I go home
and lay down and count how many times
he stares at my mouth when I wear lipstick.
When I don’t. I mark my calendar,
circle the important dates.
Let him cradle my name in his mouth
like scripture and do not tell him to stop.
Because I need to work on my alone,
I have made sure that I know
what it looks like when he walks
away from me. Sometimes, I wonder
how anyone can look at me and not see
how lit up I am with longing.
I touch the places on my body that ache
and try to rename them. How do I train
my heart to heel like a good dog?
None of this is love but there are days
where I miss him so much that the blood
is pumping good and strong in my legs.
I do not want to stay except to stay.
- Kristina Haynes
You may need to reexamine, and perhaps change, the purpose of a relationship. I might be in a dating relationship to feed my ego, or to feel secure. That’s not reason enough to put up with all the drama that goes with relationships. Neither is the fear of not finding another dating partner in the future. A Christian dating relationship needs to help this couple to be stronger in the Lord, and to serve the Lord better together than they could apart.